Real Time//Real Heart

I have, recently, begun to see my heart as a lotus flower
that floats sweetly inside the ribs

and blossoms open
and closes gently
depending on the breath
and just how much I can allow.

I lay on a long couch,
in a small house reminiscent of a tree fort
high in the dry hills over-looking the pacific ocean
while a friend plays Chopin on a piano
that has my same Spanish diminutive: Martita
and I drink red wine and catch the scent
of ylang ylang in sweaty braids undone
and holding dust.

I have been asleep during the day
and awake at night for two weeks
working and dancing and being so hard.
My heart has expanded and contracted
a lifetime of springs
and an eternity of autumns
in this time.
I breathe it open
with each moment of alone-ness
and wish for a soul companion
besides the goddesses around my ears,
and the guardians at my back.

For a heart tasting, awake love
who will take me by the hand and say:
“You are so special, my dear.
Let me show you all of the worlds
in my eyes and let me listen
to the songs of all of yours.
Let’s be better here together.”